“The Park Avenue Diet Show” on August 29, 2010 discussed “Big Business”, namely the industry and products surrounding and helping people struggling with obesity. Most people do not appreciate how difficult and uncomfortable life can be for someone with excess weight. The sheer effort of moving as well as self-care can be extremely frustrating and painful, both physically and emotionally.
It is difficult to understand why someone would remain in a state of relative incapacitation rather than reduce their body size and take advantage of products utilized by healthier individuals. Nevertheless, American industry in its wisdom has invented dozens of products and devices that make life easier for obese individuals and may unknowingly keep them in that condition.
You can find the websites alluded to on your own. There is no need to provide links to show you the actual items mentioned on the radio program. Just to remind you, here are the 13 products discussed:
1. A 96” tape measure, not the conventional 60” one used by tailors.
2. A smaller-sized steering wheel.
3. Large chairs that can accommodate individuals weighing several hundred pounds.
4. Tools that aid in reaching things, such as dropped objects or objects on shelves. Some websites offer leg-lifters that help people get into cars more easily.
5. A zipper device that allows a woman to reach easily down the back of her own dress to pull the zipper up. The promotional material states “You don’t need a man to pull up that hard to reach zipper on the back of your dress!” The latter seems like a very depressing state of affairs.
6. A long-handled under and between toe washer.
7. A toilet paper holder. Which is more grotesque, the item itself or the mentality of an individual that allows this need to exist?
8. Tricycles for “exercise”, since people struggling with morbid obesity cannot balance properly on a two-wheeler.
9. A portable bidet with a two-quart tank, advertised as great for travel.
10. A scale that goes up to 1,000 pounds.
11. A large-sized bib that covers the entire body and lap. Why should obese people be more likely to stain their clothing than others? Is it because of the anatomical or psychological complications of their excessive weight? I have no idea.
12. A jumbo coffin, the ultimate indignity.
13. Iodine scrubs, usually used for sterilization in operating rooms, necessary in obese people because of more prevalent bacterial infections.
The above products were discussed at length, as was a reminder of the grim medical statistics about obesity. Namely, obesity (BMI 30-35) reduces life expectancy by approximately three years; morbid obesity (BMI greater than 40) reduces life expectancy by ten years. Also according to the American College of Physicians, obesity increases the risk of forty different illnesses in nine different organ systems. Although you now have access to conveniences such as the thirteen products listed above, obesity ain’t no picnic.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Notes on "The Park Avenue Diet Show: Why is Exercise Good For Me?"; August 22, 2010
The topic for this week was “Why is Exercise Good For Me?”, a rather straightforward question that apparently eludes 67% of adult Americans whose weight is problematic. Exercise provides a “sink”, namely a place for calories to be burned off just as a sink provides a conduit for emptying refuse.
Exercise can be either anabolic (weight lifting for example) or catabolic (jogging). Jeff Halevy was the guest for this show and an articulate spokesperson and example of the multiple benefits of regular exercise. Most people think of exercise as a chore, but he repeatedly reminds his clients to think of exercise as fun. From a strictly nutritional point of view, exercise seems like the ideal way to treat the various components of the metabolic syndrome. Elevated triglycerides, cholesterol, sugar, and blood pressure are almost immediately approved by regular exercise.
As people age the need for regular exercise becomes especially crucial. The goals here are increased flexibility and balance, so that an individual will sustain less serious injuries due to an accidental fall. Even short walks have been found to be beneficial in the elderly population. Activity promotes increased circulation and avoids venous stasis, particularly in the lower legs where phlebitis can evolve into a major medical emergency.
Your physique is an important component of your image. There’s no getting around the fact that how you look is extraordinarily important in diverse situations ranging from job interviews to dating. If you are foolish enough to neglect your own body, how would a prospective boss want to hire you to help improve his or her own business? If you do not care how you look, how could a prospective mate imagine that you would care about their wellbeing?
The quiz question was: Which “organ” in overweight or obese people is most helped by exercise? None of the callers got the right answer, which is visceral fat. As you remember from our discussion of this topic, visceral fat releases extremely dangerous hormones and chemicals into the circulation. These are directly responsible for additional risk to overweight or obese people for dozens of illnesses and cancers. Aerobic exercise seems to be fueled initially by visceral fat and therefore it is the perfect way both to lose weight and improve risk factors.
A recent article in the August 2010 issue of Harvard Woman’s Health Watch confirmed these exact points:
http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Womens_Health_Watch.htm
Another interesting article discussed contraction-induced signaling. This is a process by which exercise stimulates glucose transport into the muscles of the body. What is most interesting is that it does not depend on insulin, and therefore exercise is especially helpful for people with insulin resistance. Somehow exercise helps the intracellular pathways leading to glucose transport:
http://www.news-medical.net/news/20100821/Study-supports-role-for-SNARK-protein-in-regulating-glucose-transport-during-muscle-contraction-and-exercise.aspx
These are new and rather complex biochemical findings but the message is the same. No matter what your weight is, exercise is extremely important for you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is Jeff Halevy's contact information. He is a superlative personal trainer and fitness expert whom I unhesitatingly recommend to everyone.
Halevy Life(212) 233-0633 www.HalevyLife.com
Exercise can be either anabolic (weight lifting for example) or catabolic (jogging). Jeff Halevy was the guest for this show and an articulate spokesperson and example of the multiple benefits of regular exercise. Most people think of exercise as a chore, but he repeatedly reminds his clients to think of exercise as fun. From a strictly nutritional point of view, exercise seems like the ideal way to treat the various components of the metabolic syndrome. Elevated triglycerides, cholesterol, sugar, and blood pressure are almost immediately approved by regular exercise.
As people age the need for regular exercise becomes especially crucial. The goals here are increased flexibility and balance, so that an individual will sustain less serious injuries due to an accidental fall. Even short walks have been found to be beneficial in the elderly population. Activity promotes increased circulation and avoids venous stasis, particularly in the lower legs where phlebitis can evolve into a major medical emergency.
Your physique is an important component of your image. There’s no getting around the fact that how you look is extraordinarily important in diverse situations ranging from job interviews to dating. If you are foolish enough to neglect your own body, how would a prospective boss want to hire you to help improve his or her own business? If you do not care how you look, how could a prospective mate imagine that you would care about their wellbeing?
The quiz question was: Which “organ” in overweight or obese people is most helped by exercise? None of the callers got the right answer, which is visceral fat. As you remember from our discussion of this topic, visceral fat releases extremely dangerous hormones and chemicals into the circulation. These are directly responsible for additional risk to overweight or obese people for dozens of illnesses and cancers. Aerobic exercise seems to be fueled initially by visceral fat and therefore it is the perfect way both to lose weight and improve risk factors.
A recent article in the August 2010 issue of Harvard Woman’s Health Watch confirmed these exact points:
http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Womens_Health_Watch.htm
Another interesting article discussed contraction-induced signaling. This is a process by which exercise stimulates glucose transport into the muscles of the body. What is most interesting is that it does not depend on insulin, and therefore exercise is especially helpful for people with insulin resistance. Somehow exercise helps the intracellular pathways leading to glucose transport:
http://www.news-medical.net/news/20100821/Study-supports-role-for-SNARK-protein-in-regulating-glucose-transport-during-muscle-contraction-and-exercise.aspx
These are new and rather complex biochemical findings but the message is the same. No matter what your weight is, exercise is extremely important for you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is Jeff Halevy's contact information. He is a superlative personal trainer and fitness expert whom I unhesitatingly recommend to everyone.
Halevy Life(212) 233-0633 www.HalevyLife.com
Monday, August 16, 2010
Notes on "The Park Avenue Diet Show: What is the Metabolic Syndrome?"; August 15, 2010
This week’s WOR program centered on the metabolic syndrome, one of the most important discoveries in the past fifty years. Until recently it was not known how several seemingly disparate illnesses occurred simultaneously, for example hypertension and heart disease. None of the facts we are about to discuss were in any of my medical school text books and were totally unknown at the time of my internal medicine residency at Maimonides Medical Center.
The metabolic syndrome is quite simply a group of three blood tests and two physical findings. It has been defined slightly differently by different health organizations in various studies. One such definition (by the IDF) is as follows:
• 1. Abdominal (central) obesity: waist circumference >37 inches (men); >31.5 inches (women) [these are lower for South Asian/Chinese/Japanese].
Plus 2 of the following 4
• 2. Blood pressure > 130/85 mm Hg
• 3. Triglycerides > 150 mg
• 4. HDL: under 40 (men); under 50 (women)
• 5. Fasting glucose > 100 mg.
Other scientific papers may utilize different measurements but the overall significance remains the same, namely that the person has an extremely high chance of developing circulatory diseases prematurely as well as the other components of the metabolic syndrome. Note that two of the criteria are essentially “pre-diabetes” and “pre-hypertension.”
What is most interesting about the metabolic syndrome is how those seemingly unrelated components are actually interconnected. There was no “central unifying thesis” until recently. The missing link was insulin resistance.
Insulin resistance, as yet only partially understood, affects all aspects of the metabolic syndrome as well as virtually all aspects of an obese body. Simply put, insulin resistance means that a person’s insulin is not functioning up to its usual capacity. It is somehow weakened or ineffective. This begins to happen in the early stages of weight gain, particularly in those individuals from diabetic families.
Ineffective insulin is unable to allow circulating glucose to enter cells of the body, most notably those in skeletal muscle and the liver. The cells which are not receiving enough energy from glucose send out messages to the pancreas, which in turn overproduces even more ineffective insulin. Thus, paradoxically, a “pre-diabetic”, will actually be producing more insulin then his or her healthy friends.
Multiple abnormalities result thereafter, all somehow related to the overproduction of ineffective insulin. One result is excessive retention of sodium by the kidneys, especially dangerous in a “civilized” country like the U.S.A with our high salt diet. Another result is circulating fats (called free fatty acids) which have numerous potentially dangerous consequences. This can most readily be seen as elevated cholesterol and triglycerides. What is unseen is a possible destructive effect of free fatty acids on the pancreas, leading to its further weakening (and diabetes).
Can we mention two of the most dreaded complications? One is a “pro-inflammatory” state, namely having highly unstable lesions in the coronary/cerebral arteries that can literally explode at any time. The other is a “pro-coagulant” state, one in which blood can clot more easily, the usual scenario for a heart attack or stroke.
The biochemistry charts depicting the various interactions we have just described are unbelievably complex. The above discussion is extremely simplified, and a great deal is not known as yet. However we are dealing with an illness, obesity, that clearly has warning signs well in advance of potential disaster. If you have the metabolic syndrome, you have already developed insulin resistance. And if you have insulin resistance you may already have done serious damage to your heart, brain, and kidneys. The need to take weight off and keep it off would therefore be the most important item on your “to do” list.
Here’s a little more information for those who want bonus points and wish to demonstrate amazing scientific knowledge to their friends:
Metabolic abnormalities associated with insulin resistance
• Endothelial dysfunction (increased adhesion molecules, increased cellular proliferation, less vasodilatation)
• Dyslipidemia (increased free fatty acids, TG, small dense LDL; decreased HDL, adiponectin)
• Procoagulant state (increased PAI-1, fibrinogen)
• Inflammation (increased CRP, IL-6)
-European Journal of Pharmacology 2004
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• 1/3 of the USA population is insulin sensitive.
• 1/3 of the population is insulin resistant. These people have very high insulin levels and really need intervention.
• 1/3 is in the middle.
The metabolic syndrome is quite simply a group of three blood tests and two physical findings. It has been defined slightly differently by different health organizations in various studies. One such definition (by the IDF) is as follows:
• 1. Abdominal (central) obesity: waist circumference >37 inches (men); >31.5 inches (women) [these are lower for South Asian/Chinese/Japanese].
Plus 2 of the following 4
• 2. Blood pressure > 130/85 mm Hg
• 3. Triglycerides > 150 mg
• 4. HDL: under 40 (men); under 50 (women)
• 5. Fasting glucose > 100 mg.
Other scientific papers may utilize different measurements but the overall significance remains the same, namely that the person has an extremely high chance of developing circulatory diseases prematurely as well as the other components of the metabolic syndrome. Note that two of the criteria are essentially “pre-diabetes” and “pre-hypertension.”
What is most interesting about the metabolic syndrome is how those seemingly unrelated components are actually interconnected. There was no “central unifying thesis” until recently. The missing link was insulin resistance.
Insulin resistance, as yet only partially understood, affects all aspects of the metabolic syndrome as well as virtually all aspects of an obese body. Simply put, insulin resistance means that a person’s insulin is not functioning up to its usual capacity. It is somehow weakened or ineffective. This begins to happen in the early stages of weight gain, particularly in those individuals from diabetic families.
Ineffective insulin is unable to allow circulating glucose to enter cells of the body, most notably those in skeletal muscle and the liver. The cells which are not receiving enough energy from glucose send out messages to the pancreas, which in turn overproduces even more ineffective insulin. Thus, paradoxically, a “pre-diabetic”, will actually be producing more insulin then his or her healthy friends.
Multiple abnormalities result thereafter, all somehow related to the overproduction of ineffective insulin. One result is excessive retention of sodium by the kidneys, especially dangerous in a “civilized” country like the U.S.A with our high salt diet. Another result is circulating fats (called free fatty acids) which have numerous potentially dangerous consequences. This can most readily be seen as elevated cholesterol and triglycerides. What is unseen is a possible destructive effect of free fatty acids on the pancreas, leading to its further weakening (and diabetes).
Can we mention two of the most dreaded complications? One is a “pro-inflammatory” state, namely having highly unstable lesions in the coronary/cerebral arteries that can literally explode at any time. The other is a “pro-coagulant” state, one in which blood can clot more easily, the usual scenario for a heart attack or stroke.
The biochemistry charts depicting the various interactions we have just described are unbelievably complex. The above discussion is extremely simplified, and a great deal is not known as yet. However we are dealing with an illness, obesity, that clearly has warning signs well in advance of potential disaster. If you have the metabolic syndrome, you have already developed insulin resistance. And if you have insulin resistance you may already have done serious damage to your heart, brain, and kidneys. The need to take weight off and keep it off would therefore be the most important item on your “to do” list.
Here’s a little more information for those who want bonus points and wish to demonstrate amazing scientific knowledge to their friends:
Metabolic abnormalities associated with insulin resistance
• Endothelial dysfunction (increased adhesion molecules, increased cellular proliferation, less vasodilatation)
• Dyslipidemia (increased free fatty acids, TG, small dense LDL; decreased HDL, adiponectin)
• Procoagulant state (increased PAI-1, fibrinogen)
• Inflammation (increased CRP, IL-6)
-European Journal of Pharmacology 2004
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• 1/3 of the USA population is insulin sensitive.
• 1/3 of the population is insulin resistant. These people have very high insulin levels and really need intervention.
• 1/3 is in the middle.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Notes on "The Park Avenue Diet Show: Sweetness and Light"; August 8, 2010
The topic of artificial sweeteners is as controversial as they get. These miracles of modern chemistry have changed the palates of the American public since the mid-1960’s. But why were they invented in the first place? Surely there are enough natural substances to go around, for example cane sugar, stevia, fructose and lactose.
Artificial sweeteners however, earned their role in our culture since they purportedly are a useful tool for weight loss and weight control. But, as we also learned in the 1960’s, “everything you know is wrong.” Is it possible that the massive increase in the incidence of obesity that began in the 1970’s is not merely a correlation with the use of artificial sweeteners but a causative factor? Put another way, does the use of artificial sweeteners make people fatter?
This was a possible interpretation of a shocking study presented at the American Diabetes Association convention in 2005. A large-scale study showed that the more diet sodas a person drank, the more likely he or she would be obese. I appeared on CNN This Morning and was interviewed by Soledad O’Brien on this topic. You can actually see this interview on You Tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yklNA6oE0DI
Several other journal articles have appeared since 2005 which seem to confirm the suspicions of those researchers. Take a look at these articles. You may not be able to understand the technical language or the statistics, but you certainly will be disturbed to know that the role of artificial sweeteners in your diet is by no means clear—or beneficial.
http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/short/ajcn.2008.26792v1
http://sci.tech-archive.net/Archive/sci.med.nutrition/2005-06/msg01172.html
http://www.foodnavigator.com/Science-Nutrition/JAMA-questions-sense-of-sweeteners-for-weight-loss
Non-nutritive (artificial) sweeteners are chemosensory signaling compounds. They tell your brain that you have just ingested many calories of an imaginary sugar, but there may be a backlash of sorts. The sweeteners may condition the body to no longer associate sweetness with calories, thereby disrupting its ability to accurately assess calorie intake. Practically speaking this means that after a diet soda or two, you may overeat dessert because it doesn’t seem as sweet as those chemicals (sucralose, aspartame, saccharin).
In summary, non-nutritive sweeteners:
(1) May increase appetite.
(2) May promote energy intake, not restrict it.
(3) May contribute to obesity.
The last of these three points is obviously the most controversial. This is a source of much back-and-forth arguing in the dietary community. The matter is hardly settled yet. Could overweight or obese people be easing their consciences by substituting an artificial sweetener for a packet of sugar (which only saves them 20 calories)?
Or could the aforementioned chemicals disrupt the feedback mechanism of satiation to such a degree that artificial sweeteners in fact cause the illness, obesity, which they are meant to cure? There is no answer as yet. What do you think?
Here are the two quiz questions explained:
How much swimming do you have to do to burn off the calories from one packet of sugar? Answer: A packet of sugar contains about 20 calories. Swimming burns off approximately 600 calories per hour. Therefore 20 calories would disappear in one thirtieth of that time period, namely two minutes.
If you switch to an artificial sweetener for your morning cup of coffee and do nothing else differently, in how long will you lose one pound? Answer: Since one pound of body fat requires a sacrifice of 3500 calories and there are 20 calories in a packet of table sugar, this process will take 175 days, about six months. Please note that if you are using artificial sweeteners at breakfast time but having a high-calorie meal (like a bagel with cream cheese or pancakes)…naughty, naughty.
Artificial sweeteners however, earned their role in our culture since they purportedly are a useful tool for weight loss and weight control. But, as we also learned in the 1960’s, “everything you know is wrong.” Is it possible that the massive increase in the incidence of obesity that began in the 1970’s is not merely a correlation with the use of artificial sweeteners but a causative factor? Put another way, does the use of artificial sweeteners make people fatter?
This was a possible interpretation of a shocking study presented at the American Diabetes Association convention in 2005. A large-scale study showed that the more diet sodas a person drank, the more likely he or she would be obese. I appeared on CNN This Morning and was interviewed by Soledad O’Brien on this topic. You can actually see this interview on You Tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yklNA6oE0DI
Several other journal articles have appeared since 2005 which seem to confirm the suspicions of those researchers. Take a look at these articles. You may not be able to understand the technical language or the statistics, but you certainly will be disturbed to know that the role of artificial sweeteners in your diet is by no means clear—or beneficial.
http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/short/ajcn.2008.26792v1
http://sci.tech-archive.net/Archive/sci.med.nutrition/2005-06/msg01172.html
http://www.foodnavigator.com/Science-Nutrition/JAMA-questions-sense-of-sweeteners-for-weight-loss
Non-nutritive (artificial) sweeteners are chemosensory signaling compounds. They tell your brain that you have just ingested many calories of an imaginary sugar, but there may be a backlash of sorts. The sweeteners may condition the body to no longer associate sweetness with calories, thereby disrupting its ability to accurately assess calorie intake. Practically speaking this means that after a diet soda or two, you may overeat dessert because it doesn’t seem as sweet as those chemicals (sucralose, aspartame, saccharin).
In summary, non-nutritive sweeteners:
(1) May increase appetite.
(2) May promote energy intake, not restrict it.
(3) May contribute to obesity.
The last of these three points is obviously the most controversial. This is a source of much back-and-forth arguing in the dietary community. The matter is hardly settled yet. Could overweight or obese people be easing their consciences by substituting an artificial sweetener for a packet of sugar (which only saves them 20 calories)?
Or could the aforementioned chemicals disrupt the feedback mechanism of satiation to such a degree that artificial sweeteners in fact cause the illness, obesity, which they are meant to cure? There is no answer as yet. What do you think?
Here are the two quiz questions explained:
How much swimming do you have to do to burn off the calories from one packet of sugar? Answer: A packet of sugar contains about 20 calories. Swimming burns off approximately 600 calories per hour. Therefore 20 calories would disappear in one thirtieth of that time period, namely two minutes.
If you switch to an artificial sweetener for your morning cup of coffee and do nothing else differently, in how long will you lose one pound? Answer: Since one pound of body fat requires a sacrifice of 3500 calories and there are 20 calories in a packet of table sugar, this process will take 175 days, about six months. Please note that if you are using artificial sweeteners at breakfast time but having a high-calorie meal (like a bagel with cream cheese or pancakes)…naughty, naughty.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Notes on "The Park Avenue Diet Show: A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal"; August 1, 2010
What could be more controversial than an essay by Jonathan Swift? How about, "A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal", an essay reminiscent of his sardonic wit, describing an imaginary "diet" that would ensure near-total compliance? You'll be able to read the complete essay at the end of this brief introduction and judge for yourself. But please be seated and have smelling salts at hand !
It was only a matter of time before politicians and insurance companies decided to impose penalties on those whose weight is excessive. I wrote the my Swiftian essay about 7 years ago, and it was immediately deleted from the manuscript for "The Park Avenue Diet." Too incendiary, I guess.
But as listeners heard, there are now taxes proposed on soda, sodium, trans fats, and saturated fats. Germany is considering weighing obese schoolchildren daily, with severe repercussions for their parents should no action be taken.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7904990/Overweight-people-should-pay-fat-tax-to-cover-healthcare-costs-German-MP-says.html
Use your favorite search engine to seek out other examples of a "fat tax." You'll have plenty of summer reading material...all of it Orwellian. Or watch the politicians of New York state argue about soda taxes (naturally, all of our elected officials are glamorously and radiantly healthy role-models.)
Whatever your opinion is, don't blame me. I wrote "A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal" as a satire. The April 15th Diet, described below, was only a joke when I thought it up. Will it become reality soon? Ask at your local post office.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal----------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was only a matter of time before politicians and insurance companies decided to impose penalties on those whose weight is excessive. I wrote the my Swiftian essay about 7 years ago, and it was immediately deleted from the manuscript for "The Park Avenue Diet." Too incendiary, I guess.
But as listeners heard, there are now taxes proposed on soda, sodium, trans fats, and saturated fats. Germany is considering weighing obese schoolchildren daily, with severe repercussions for their parents should no action be taken.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7904990/Overweight-people-should-pay-fat-tax-to-cover-healthcare-costs-German-MP-says.html
Use your favorite search engine to seek out other examples of a "fat tax." You'll have plenty of summer reading material...all of it Orwellian. Or watch the politicians of New York state argue about soda taxes (naturally, all of our elected officials are glamorously and radiantly healthy role-models.)
Whatever your opinion is, don't blame me. I wrote "A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal" as a satire. The April 15th Diet, described below, was only a joke when I thought it up. Will it become reality soon? Ask at your local post office.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal----------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a practicing physician it never ceases to amaze me when an overweight patient doesn’t follow my advice. After a Yale University liberal-arts education, a degree in psychology, four years of medical school, an Internal Medicine residency, four years of emergency room work, and more…where did I go wrong?
Usually people respond positively to my gravitas and depth of knowledge. The recommendations I give can make an enormous difference…after all, we are talking about life-shortening, debilitating chronic illnesses, the ones precipitated and worsened by overweight.
Why don’t most of those 67% overweight or obese Americans slavishly follow the warnings of the medical community? It’s certainly not from lack of publicity: every newspaper and television show seems to have an article or segment devoted to health issues. Yet only 5-10% of dieters keep the pounds off permanently and never revert to their former bad habits. What’s wrong with the other 90%? Aren’t they afraid of death?
Somewhat sheepishly I have often posed to colleagues the hypothesis that there is only one diet that would really work wonders. I call it The April 15th Diet. Don’t bother to look for the recipe book, spin-off products, or in fact any nutritional information. On The April 15th Diet you can eat unlimited portions of anything that you want throughout the entire year. Sounds terrific, no?
Then on April 15th of every year you will report to the local post office. After your retina scan and DNA sample pass inspection, you will hand the clerk a notarized copy of your previous year’s income tax returns. You will then step onto a special scale that will measure height and weight, immediately calculating your Body Mass Index. A bar-code sticker will be printed and affixed to your tax return. Then you are done for the day.
Several months later you will receive an envelope from the Internal Revenue Service. They will have audited your tax return and calculated your refund. This amount, however, will be adjusted downwards for every unit of Body Mass Index higher than ideal. Only people who demonstrate sufficient personal responsibility, self-control, and successful results will qualify for a full refund. Incomplete efforts, “trying”, or total neglect will lead to incrementally increasing deduction from the funds. Parents are also penalized for the behavior and overweight of their children.
The money saved by instituting this program would be incalculable. Since overweight and obese American will eventually divert money from the health-care system to pay for their insulin injections, cardiac surgery, dialysis treatments and seeing-eye dogs, it is economically wiser to extract some sort of pre-payment beforehand.
Illnesses that affect all people equally (cancer, influenza, broken bones) should be “paid for” by all citizens since they are all more or less at identical risk. However, the concerned citizen of the future might ask his obese neighbor, “You pay for your own ice cream. Why should I share the cost of your medication, hospitalization, and nursing care?”
Illnesses that affect all people equally (cancer, influenza, broken bones) should be “paid for” by all citizens since they are all more or less at identical risk. However, the concerned citizen of the future might ask his obese neighbor, “You pay for your own ice cream. Why should I share the cost of your medication, hospitalization, and nursing care?”
Americans share only two things in common: death and taxes. The fear of early death is not sufficient to motivate people to lose weight. The possible loss of disposable income, on the other hand, would certainly change hearts, minds, and bellies very quickly.
Memberships in health clubs would sky-rocket, especially in March. Nutritionists, rather than accountants, would have to work around the clock in early April. Cobwebs and tumbleweeds would surround fast-food stores, and long lines would form at salad bars at the crack of dawn.
Memberships in health clubs would sky-rocket, especially in March. Nutritionists, rather than accountants, would have to work around the clock in early April. Cobwebs and tumbleweeds would surround fast-food stores, and long lines would form at salad bars at the crack of dawn.
Get angry, stamp your feet, write a Letter to the Editor! I know that The April 15th Diet is the worst diet that you ever heard of…but boy would it work!
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