Monday, April 4, 2011

"Let Them Eat Celebration Cake"

When told that the peasants were starving and had no bread, the cruel French artistocrat Marie Antoinette responded "Let them eat cake." Or so the legend goes. Soon thereafter, the Parisian citizens exacted their revenge in a barbaric form of weight-loss surgery not covered by current medical insurances. Of course times have changed, and today, the New York City Health Department issued new rules for their own staff. According to the Daily News, employees received a brightly-colored pamphlet which spells out a set of regulations guaranteed to cure obesity at the workplace: 1) Tap water must be served as a healthy (?) alternative to other fluids. All beverages must be less than 25 calories per 8 ounces. 2) "Cut muffins and bagels into halves or quarters or order mini-sizes. " 3) No deep-fried foods can be served. 4) For celebrations, cake and air-popped popcorn "popped at the party and served in brown paper lunchbags" are permitted. 5) If a "celebration cake" is served, cookies are not permitted. Here is an excellent example of your tax dollars at work. You might not have known about the health benefits of zero-calorie water or smaller-sized muffins if the medical researchers and exercise physiologists at the NYC Health Department had not done their homework. Yesterday, cookies were a choice--now their illicit use is regulated by the same individuals who have turned second-hand smoking into a frightening toxin...and have ignored epidemic pediatric diabetes for decades. Perhaps with added civic revenues and governmental controls, a child's "celebration cake" will be available only from the Department of Health. Parents may need to have their child weighed by designated civil servants, and once his or her BMI is calculated, an appropriately sized/calorized pastry can be purchased. But no cookies ! And small-sized balloons at the party. How far we have come since the days of the Ancien Regime of Marie Antoinette and Louis XIV. Or, as these beheaded artistocrats might have put it before their demise, plus ca change, plus la meme chose.