A Lifetime of Transitions

Summer is usually not a time for philosophical reflection, but 2008 is different for me. As I prepare for a series of publicity-related events to promote The Park Avenue Diet, my thoughts have taken me backwards and forwards in time—reflecting on the past and anticipating the future. “This is a transitional time for you,” my friend and mentor Dr. Stanley Krippner noted a few months ago. Agreed, but as I pondered his overview, I began to think of the entire arc of life, in itself, somewhat inflexibly, a series of stages not unlike a grand railway journey with multiple stops.

No matter who you are, where you live, or what surrounds you, you too will experience a social, academic, and professional environment that is continually being reshaped and redefined. How will you be able to manage these multiple transitions seamlessly and painlessly? The answer will depend to a large extent on your ability to redefine your image, an amalgam of visible behavioral and physical characteristics that reflect your philosophical beliefs.

Are you the same person you were a few years ago? Probably not, although you might wish to believe that your current relationships, appearance, and health are permanent—at least the positive aspects. But physicists teach us that “the only thing constant is change.” So prepare yourself for a roller-coaster ride that might last 80 years by learning to adapt, to upgrade your image, and to develop an evanescent trait called “inner strength.” Otherwise, your roller-coaster ride may be a bumpy one.

I have had many life-defining experiences over the past few years, moments of unbelievable happiness and moments of painful heartache, and so have you. But in looking back even further, I’ve been blessed with a most circuitous and surprising pathway that has brought me to this point—and into your life. I’ve been a shy high-school student, an idealistic Yalie, a frazzled medical student, an overworked intern, a colorful emergency room physician, an associate of a famous diet-doctor, and now an author and media personality—all of these without knowing the next chapter of the story.

At each point of transition, my image changed, but not in some vague spiritual way. Building upon one knowledge base after another, I improved my weight, bodily physique, skin, apparel, hairstyle, interpersonal skills, and self-confidence to match my new responsibilities and hopefully impress my new colleagues. However you look today, good, bad, or indifferent, it’s not a permanent state of affairs. Your ability to reevaluate yourself periodically—and honestly—is not a superficial onceover. It is a survival technique that you will need to call upon repeatedly if you want to develop the resilience necessary to endure, thrive, and excel.

Let’s take as an example your weight. It may seem adequate or at least tolerable to you (66% of American adults are either overweight or obese according to recent CDC statistics) but what will someone else think?--someone such as a college admissions interviewer, a potential employer, a new friend. Their first impression of you, a phenomenon that my fashion expert colleague Helene Hellsten estimates as taking three seconds to formulate, may negate your chances of academic advancement, job placement, or romance. Weaknesses in interpersonal skills may mean nothing to you, but they might convince the gatekeepers of your future that you “haven’t got it all together.”

On the other hand, mastering the various components of appearance and behavior—and upgrading them periodically to present yourself as continuously fresh and interesting—allows you to move from one stage of life to another as seamlessly as possible. People who ignore this learning technique are often described as being “in a rut” or stagnant. You may need to transition from school to an office environment, from living with your parents to coping with your own apartment, from solitude to an intimate relationship. Transitions are as complex and multifaceted as the people that they affect, so don’t try to predict the future—instead, prepare yourself for a series of reinventions, opportunities for creativity, redesign, and productive introspection.

Whether you know it or not, this is a transitional time for you too, just as it is for me. You may not know when the next chapter of your life will begin or who will be the principal characters—but change is inevitable, like the change of seasons we experience every year. Nature makes it happen to trees, insects, and weather patterns, and people make it happen with kaleidoscopic social dynamics and relationships. Your armament against these powerful forces is not merely self-knowledge but the ability to reinvent yourself, after careful reappraisal and inventory of your appearance and behavior. It’s an important and necessary skill, and you can have fun doing this with the proper input from experts such as the team assembled for The Park Avenue Diet.

This is not just a transitional time for me…or you. We all lead a lifetime of transitions.