Notes on "The Park Avenue Diet Show: Are My Friends Making Me Fat?"; July 18, 2010

Are you influenced by people around you, or do you primarily make decisions on your own?

Perhaps we all do a little of both, but for this week's edition of "The Park Avenue Diet Show" we explored how one's social circle may influence his or her foods choices. Those who have maintained a good weight for decades are on automatic pilot, having established a routine that favors nutrition and optimal health from which they rarely deviate. They have their own inner set of self-care priorities, so called positive personal myths.

Other people who are struggling with weight are encircled by individuals who may knowingly or unknowingly intimidate them into overeating. This can be done through a wide range of dysfunction behaviors. Here are some examples, and you can see the pattern--someone is being asked/cajoled/humiliated into eating to fulfill someone else's negative personal myths.

"What's wrong with having a second dessert? You worked hard today and deserve it."

"Let's not talk about unpleasant topics. Let's go have a pizza."

"You don't want seconds? Obviously you don't like my cooking."

"You may be on a diet, but not here. You''ll just have to go to the gym for a few extra hours."

"You're not fat. You look fine to me."

"Enablers" are people who may knowingly or unknowingly steer you in the direction of unhealthy food choices. They are not bad people, and they may actually feel that they are taking care of you. This particularly true with parents who overfeed their children in the mistaken belief that this represents the "comforts" of home. The classic "comfort foods", still promoted by supermarket magazines that promote crackpot weight-loss tips, are well known to you: macaroni and cheese, rice and beans, noodle pudding. Do they conjure up thoughts of childhood and happiness for you?

People who want you lose to weight, improve your image, and get healthier are your "support group." People who undercut your efforts, for whatever reasons, may be "co-dependents." They may not want you to change, possibly because it reflects badly on their inability to do so.

Needless to say, weight loss, an extremely challenging project on its own, is made even more difficult when close friends, family, or colleagues involve others in unhealthy behavior patterns. Part of the learning curve in weight loss is discovering for oneself where those influence lie...and reshaping one's thinking accordingly. This is a central premise in "The Park Avenue Diet", one eloquently elucidated by Dr. Stanley Krippner. He teaches the reader how to respond to enablers and co-dependents, something equally as important as eating low calorie food, perhaps even more so, since this facilitates lifelong lifestyle changes.

The guest discussant on this week's show was the eminent psychologist Debbie Joffe Ellis. You can hear her brilliant insights and mellifluous voice on the WOR section of parkavenuediet.com
She recently completed the last chapter of her late husband's autobiography, and the book is now available...and unmissable. He, of course, is Dr. Albert Ellis, perhaps the most important psychologist of the 20th century and certainly the most influential philosophically for me. What a thrill to have Debbie on my show, but don't take my word...listen for yourself.

Here's the new book:

http://www.amazon.com/All-Out-Autobiography-Albert-Ellis/dp/1591024528