The Last Word on Stress (for now)

The topic of stress can not be covered in too great detail. There are so many aspects to the subject, neurochemical, behavioral, hormonal, pathological, social--such that any brief discussion might seem overly simplistic. Moreover an academic presentation might leave out what readers or listeners need the most, namely practical advice.

Coping with stress is a learned skill. One needs multiple attempts, failures, and successes before having a confident approach to life's trials and tribulations. This is a learning curve that never ends because the stresses of adolescence, challenging as they may appear, have little relationship to the stresses one encounters late in life. But the self-confidence we gain by learning "not to sweat the small stuff" is a way to become better equipped for dealing with more momentous issues.

As a physician I have always felt that the stress of illness is the most important stess to learn to cope with. A young child overreacts instinctively to a slight accident or infinitesimal bodily harm. A fall in the playground will result in minutes of loud crying for no apparent purpose. A mother knows her duties well: not just soothing the area but giving psychological support. "Awww, it's okay." or "This is not something to cry over." I'm sure you've heard these before even if you don't remember. And your mother's advice on how to cope with stress is probably not too far from the truth right now as well.

The pre-eminent psychologist Jean Houston teaches people to view stressful situations in an unusually objective way. She instructed one of her colleagues (currently the Secretary of State) to put her problems in an imaginary box when dealing with other matters. The problems have not been solved, but they are seemingly isolated, to be dealt with at another time. She also teaches people to bolster their own self-confidence by dealing with complex issues as if they were famously self-assured celebrities.

We naturally gravitate to movie heroes who never reflect stress in their physical demeanor or conversation. Think of Gary Cooper in High Noon, Sigourney Weaver in Alien, Daniel Craig in Casino Royale or any other of your favorites. They do not ponder or complain about problems. They solve them. And part of coping with stress is not repeatedly enumerating all of one's current stressful issues, especially at 1 a.m., the worst time possible.

Psychotherapists, physicians, and in fact all health care providers must be able to offer constructive and user-friendly techniques of coping with stress to their patients. A personal favorite of mine was Albert Ellis, who certainly understood the ways that negative thinking can actually inhibit people from finding an appropriate solution to a troubling issue.

But you don't need a professional license to be able to offer good advice to a stressed-out friend. The most serious challenges of life must be handled in a calm and rational way. As an emergency room physician, I learned that speech patterns and body language can be equally as calming as the actual message. Even in dealing with your own problems, slow, calm, and methodical thinking is the first order of business no matter what the stress is. And the stronger and healthier you are physically, the more this will be reflected in mental acuity and a rational approach to stress.

Let's leave this subject for now. Stress will not go away, as you can see right now on the front page of any newspaper in the world. But coping with stress is an ongoing learning process, so pick some examples of "easy" problems and think of how you can frame them, analyze them, and solve them in a rational and healthy way. Your physical well-being depends on it.